Thursday, January 7, 2010

Fashion Do's and Don'ts

RULE #1: Fashion rules are there to be broken.

RULE #2: Having fashion sense is all about knowing what looks good on YOU, not what looks good on Paris Hilton or Naomi Campbell.

RULE #3: When fashion magazines or self-proclaimed experts say something is "Over, Bourgeois, Tired, Common, So last year or Very yesterday/last week/last century" it means the person talking now considers that particular style or colour to be out of style and are now pushing the next big thing, which they will usually describe as being "New, Now, Fresh, Brave, Chic, Divine, Girly, Love, Important, or To die for."

RULE #4: Don't listen to fashion magazines or self-proclaimed experts. They are just copying what everyone else is saying.

RULE #5: Trend setters either create something new or go retro to bring something from the past and make it new again. Trend followers are just copycats with no fashion sense of their own.

RULE #6: When picking out something to wear or shopping, always ask several things: A. Is this practical? B. What if it rains? C. Can I afford this? D. Will I ever wear this or am I just filling my closet with things I will never wear? E. Does it actually look good on me or am I just fooling myself?

RULE #7: Some colours match, some don't, but does it really matter? Sometimes you want to wear opposing colours because it will stand out more.

RULE #8: Just because it is a men's shirt, pants, socks or whatever doesn't mean it won't fit or suit you. I happen to believe men's briefs look very good on women.

RULE #9: Before stepping outside ask yourself "What if I die today and this is the clothing I am found wearing? Do I want to be found dead wearing corduroy pants and a leather thong?" (Or whatever you happen to be wearing!)

RULE #10: Last but not least, passe means that something has been already. Avante garde means nobody has ever done it before. See the difference? Don't misuse terms. This season its all about what clothes just scream embellishment and look pretentious. No wait, that is every season. Every fashionista is always trying to look better than she really does, but far too many lack the common sense to realize they look like they are trying too hard to be kewl... understand the difference? These people are poseurs. They buy the latest shoes, the newest glasses (which may or may not be retro), the kewlest, most decorative jeans they can find and the end result is someone who is wearing a mish mash of competing styles... if a guy dressed that way we'd call him a douchebag. When a girl does it she is a douchebaggette.

And I will not apologize for saying that. Some people just try too hard and it shows. They flaunt their new fashion, but in reality its not new because they're copying what everyone else is doing. Worse, the poor girl is copying all of them at the same time. Please people! Don't be a douchebag(gette)! Far too few women and girls out there know how to use a sewing machine... sewing is so easy its amazing more people don't take it up as a hobby or turn it into a profession. Everyone needs clothes. Clothes wear out. Clothes go out of fashion. Clothes don't fit like they used to. The fashion industry is everywhere and it is one of the oldest professions the world has ever seen.

And if you are on a budget, what could be cheaper than needle, thread and some fabric? True, some fabrics can be pricier than others, but if you shop around you can rip apart old clothes, 2nd hand clothes and recycle the old fabric to make something which is kewl, unique and nobody else has it. People will wear what is convenient sometimes so if you are on a budget do some research and see what is out there. There are a tonne of YouTube videos on how to make your own clothing, sew, knit, darn socks, do your hair, clean fabric stains, etc. all on a budget. It won't take too much time or research and the next thing you know you will be a bit of an expert on the topic. If you become really obsessed you can also take evening or weekend classes on fashion design. Many cities and large towns have clubs and classes you can join if you look hard enough. They're always looking for new members. The beauty of fashion is that you can always match things with other things. Once you have bought a good sized wardrobe (or have sewn your own) you can coordinate clothing to create specific looks. To do you will need a good size full length mirror and test the mirror's quality to make sure you look good in it.

After that you are pretty much set. I recommend reorganizing your closet by colour, not by type of clothing. Make it into a rainbow. It is faster to find a specific piece of clothing when you only have one yellow sweater and its the only sweater in the yellow section. Other people like to organize their closets using different methods, but it doesn't really matter which method you use so long as it WORKS. My last tidbit of advice? If old people are wearing it then it is officially out of style. Thats right. If your mom or grandmother starts wearing low cut jeans that shows off her ass crack its time to rip those jeans apart and reuse the fabric. Happy sewing!