Sunday, April 4, 2010
First Night Sex
First night sex in a couple's life is always filled with anxiety, nervousness, hesitation and there are many questions which creep up in the back of your mind but with proper guidance and information you can make your first night memorable. For many people, the first time is quite unpleasant. If it is an arranged marriage then it will be very much difficult to open up and be sexually motivated on the first night itself but just remember one thing - sex is not at all important on the first night, get to know each other better and take it easy. You can also begin with touching and kissing and exploring each other but have sex only if you are ready for it and you are comfortable. Sex under pressure is no good and it leads to bitterness and disappointments. Make sure that both of you understand each other and respect one another's feelings and desire's. However for a couples, who know each other, first time is easier since, you know each other's likes and dislikes, and are more comfortable with each other.
Some women might have pain and bleeding during insertion because the hymen breaks. Men might have premature ejaculation. These things happen because it's the first time your body experiences such emotions and extreme passion but with time, all these will settle down. But you can always make your first time really special and cherish it all your life.
Following are a few questions that bother you:
Will it hurt the first time? Will I bleed?
This is the most common question that girls ask. And the answer is "yes" you might bleed and it will hurt a little when you have sexual intercourse for the first time. But isn't it the truth that behind every happiness there lies little pain. The bleeding usually occurs because the girl has a hymen, which breaks the first time she has sexual intercourse. Sometimes a girl might already have broken her hymen as a result of playing sports, doing strenuous exercise or horse riding. However with the right touch and the right partner, you should be able to enjoy your first time without pain. Take your time, do not force yourself, use a lubricant if necessary, and guide him through. Tell him when it feels good and when it hurts.
Am I ready for sex?
This is also another question, which bothers you, and you feel that may be it is not the right time or maybe you should wait but you are not sure. If you th9nk that you are not sure then you need not force yourself into doing it coz then you will only hurt yourself more. There are many ways in which you can give and receive sexual pleasure without having sexual intercourse. For some people giving each other massages, kissing and hugging can be very passionate and can be more fulfilling than sexual intercourse. Therefore what is important is to be comfortable in each other company and not to be pressurized into having sex when you don't really want to. Once you think that you are ready then go ahead and do it. And believe me this time it will really be fulfilling and memorable.
How do I have "good" sex?
For this what is most important as discussed above is being comfortable and relaxed in each other's company and wanting to have sex without any compulsion or pressure. It's natural to feel some worries but good communication is the key. Being relaxed and able to share things with your partner who is also probably feeling nervous will ease the tension. And what follows is not a set of rules. Rules about sex are impossible-- what should matter is that what you do makes you feel good. And "feeling good" should last past the sex itself. And that means have safe sex so that you don't have to later worry about getting pregnant or catching some horrible disease.
Will I be a good lover?
Don't worry about this question at all. Being a good lover doesn't happen automatically and immediately. You have to give it a little time. And of course with the right partner, patience, time, care, and practice, you will definitely become a great lover. Your first times, for both you, will be fumbling, embarrassing and awkward, but hopefully they'll be the start of great times ahead for the rest of your lives.